Brown Nuggets

Lord I want to be Whole

Desmond passed me the book "Lord I want to be Whole" by Stormie Omartian awhile back and when I finally started reading it a couple of weeks ago, I realized that I too needed emotional healing.

Have always thought of myself as someone relatively problem free with no burden or bondage from the past that l carry on my shoulder but guess I was wrong. We are all affected and influenced by our past - some, more obvious and some, less obvious. A truth and a given that I had somehow ignored and thought wouldn't apply to me even though I had studied it so many times before. Pride? Perhaps so...

Didn't someone once say that we are merely the sum total of all our experiences?

The more I read, the more I realized that there were certain aspects of my life that needed emotional healing and deliverance.

"My definition of emotional health is having total peace about who you are, what you're doing, and where you are going, both individually and in relationship to those around you... it is feeling at peace about the past, present and future of your life... knowing that you're in line with God's ultimate purpose in you and being fulfilled in that."

There are bits and pieces of my past which come to mind every so often and each time it pops up, I get agitated and frustrated for that moment, curse under my breath, and quickly brush the memory away. I guess the way I have been dealing with my past has been through avoidance and repression. Some memories, I have effectively buried so deep in my thoughts that I have no recollection whatsoever even when someone (usually my mom) mentions it. Kinda strange but that's what repression does.

Now, everytime I am bothered by such memories, I pray: "Lord I surrender this thought to you and I refuse to think about it anymore!"

The state of our mind affects the state of our heart, which in turn affects our entire being. Stormie suggests that we evaluate the condition of our mind frequently by asking ourselves if our thoughts...

1) make us feel sad, lonely, depressed or hopeless?
2) cause us to be bitter, angry or unforgiving?
3) cause us to feel self-hatred or self-doubt?
4) bring feelings of anxiety or fear?
5) constantly rehearse negative memories?
6) become dominated by immoral sexual images?
7) make us feel sickened or unclean?
8) cause us to feel anything other than peace and well-being?

Desmond once pointed out that I was negatively affected whenever I started reading secular novels or worldly books. That simple truth impacted me a great deal because upon reflection, I realised that my emotions, behaviour and mindset over the years have been governed by all the trash that I've been reading, watching and listening to.

Certain TV programs/movies, music/songs, books or magazines can leave you feeling depressed, fearful, unfulfilled, guilty, frustrated or dissatisfied with the life God gave you. How many times have I thought of escaping or running away to someplace far and foreign to start my life over?

If we are easily influnced, negative input will turn our thoughts away from God and cause us to become materialistic. Therefore, we "have to be specific about what (we) allow into (our) mind and truly take every thought captive".

"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God." Romans 12:2

"Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things." Phil 4:8

Unforgiveness

A key problem I face especially when it comes to people close and certain people who used to be close to me. I believe this is the reason why I find it hard to form close friendships.

"...unforgiveness separates you from people... they sense a spirit of unforgiveness, even if they can't identify it and it makes them uncomfortable and distant."

Sometimes, when I get frustrated with behaviours that are exhibited and cannot understand why people can have such strange and skewed (or something just different from my own)mindsets, I simply choose to ignore them and live in denial of the problem.

"...forgiveness also has to do with not being critical of others... keeping in mind that people are often the way they are because of how life has shaped them... God is the only one who knows the whole story, and therefore we never have the right to judge."

I have been trying to remind myself of this whenever I come across people who rub me off on the wrong side and I am working on developing compassion for people who are not so lovable.

Thanks dear :o* - I'm really glad you passed me this book because it has blessed me in so many ways. You have been so patient and understanding with me and I thank God everyday for bringing you into my life. Thank you for your love and relentless belief in me. Thank you for prodding me along and not letting me get too comfortable. Thank you for making the Word come alive for me (and for many other people as well)! You are an excellent role model, example and testimony.

posted by Pocahontas @ 12:43 PM